All forms of relationships need effort from all parties

As title suggests, I've been thinking bout the recent incidences that I've seen happened.

An army friend of mine recently broke up with his other half and was really depressed for awhile. He's better nowadays though, and has since learnt and grown from it. Super proud of him and I know he's just gonna become a better person and BF. (good luck for the next one ya? :D)

This other incident is ironically similar but yet totally different. I hope this friend of mine has the courage and wisdom to face reality and do damage control, or it's just gonna escalate till a point whereby nobody can help (or even empathise). All the best my friend...

From incident 1/2, I totally felt the need to reconnect with all existing friends. Maybe it's guilt on my side that sometimes I don't put in effort in maintaining these bonds I have with these people who were there (some of them anyway) when I was down and stuff. Don't be too passive, and don't try TOO hard. Mm..

Anyway I digress. The main reason I decided to blog this time round was to remind myself to be honest and truthful to the people around me, and be more sincere in maintaining friendships.

This reminders came in the form of a recent event that got me quite disappointed. Person A(no names as usual) pulled a no-show without any notification. Neither was person A apologetic. My instincts has been kicking me in the guts that even Mum A pulled a fib in person A's stead. I hope my instincts are wrong but I somehow doubt that :/
I rather person A decline to go for the event rather than weaving fibs. No point right? We've known each other for a long time...
Person B came though, with totally no intention to follow through. Guts tell me person b is in the loop of person A's "predicament", and probably was told to keep mum as well. What happened to the basic values of making things work? :/
Furthermore person b had clearly stated the inconveniences of providing conveniences. A friend in need is a friend indeed<-- fail =(

Kinda makes me sad that my brain is telling me that A/B have become so mercenary-like. Sigh...

Regardless of what happened, I've already looked past the matter and would rather let sleeping dogs lie. "To err is human, to forgive divine." I'm sure I've made my share of mistakes and I guess all these are part and parcels of forgiving and forgetting.

On a happier note, I've been volunteering at a random dog shelter one of my friends had previously helped out at, and I'm finding it very enriching and satisfying. This weekend commitment further justifies my passion and love for dogs. Awesome stuff, I'm quite sure I'm gonna continue this stuff for another year at least... ^^

Now I just wish that I've the wisdom and determination to get to my objectives and subsequently defuse a bomb I should have done so awhile ago...

Till next time,
-WKhai

More than a month since

Since the decision. Things have kinda died down more or less, but my resolve stands still, at least until my objectives are met.

This decision will just further strengthen my own determination and independence, which I guess will help me in the long run..

On a lighter note, I started volunteering at a dog shelter called "gentle paws and friends", ever since my exams ended. It's something I look forward to every week and keeps me moving forward. As I'm on vocal break(supposedly >.>), I'm exploring other non conventional options to spend time. Here i am, finally back to my roots, which is caring for dogs (something I've always wanted to do as a kiddo)

Friends have been busy with their own schedules in life and maybe I should too, but I guess I'm leaving it to fate :P

Anywayy, I've got almost 2 months more to my next semester in school so I really need to remind myself to stay grounded and disciplined to work for my goals.

#slightly-more-motivated!

Signing off,
-Wkhai

Feeling Blue~

Recently I've been feeling quite down... :(

What to do, I'm never the most important one anyway~

I've decided to stop this negative thinking, what's the point of lamenting and feeling like crap where nothing's gonna change anyway.

I'm gonna start doing things for myself and myself only. Not gonna care and bother putting in effort bout the rest.

And I'm apologetic to my bros who fet the blunt of my short temper-ness recently... SORRY! >.<

Time to start living life the way I deserve for myself.
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Blah~ this post's a riddle in a riddle.

#frustration-vented

-Khai

Mind over body(almost...lol)

Today I was pangseh-ed by a friend of mine who wanted to meet up outside and study/work. I'm guessing he's either: too lazy to go out or he made another arrangement liao.

Anyhow, I was left to study alone last minute. I'm sure most people will just stay at home and try to study(won't work as one knows that studying at home doesn't work anyway, therefore making plans to go out to study). I did something even I didn't expect. I went ahead with the plan to go out to study alone anyway!

-moment of silence and then applause please- :D

Managed to cram about 30% of revision in 3hours or so, with the first hour being extremely slow. Not bad I'd say, considering the relatively noisy mac environment. Quite proud of myself too, for staying focused and decently productive despite the many whatsapp/SMS/phone call distractions that came. ^.^

Motivation is often under utilised. Some call it mind f-ing, some say brainwashing. I say, whatever works, works!

Hope I can maintain this attitude/willpower/perseverance through my semester and get really good grades. I know my folks will be über proud(even though they won't say/admit it)

暗爽就好了啦~ =P

Going to the mac near my house to continue part 2 of studies. Wish me luck! =D

-fighting on,
-Khai =]

ORD LO!

2 years came and gone by. Now I'm finally a free man again! =D

Felt really surreal when I woke up the next day after ORD-ing...but I guess one has to move on with life.

Reminiscing on the past, this peekture reminds me of the good ol' days in poly when I was pretty carefree!

(sidenote: the day I screwed up singing LOL)

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Anywayy, time to move on! Gotta few objectives for myself these few months before school starts:

1. Get my bloody license (like finally HAHA)

2. Bbball! Time to get back in shape :P

3. Work 3months or so? Get some extra cash to splurge on stuff like holidays and such...

4. Catch-up on all the animes/mangas I've missed out these 2 years...

Time to start moving! =D

5...4...3...2...1..ORD LO!

In another 5 working days i'll be ORD-ING!
Feels so surreal hahaha...no more sai kang, no more politics, no more lousy management. (I hope!)

I realised person A is as good as undermining (or even better) than person B. Its so interestingly subtle to the point that almost nobody realises. HAHA you can enjoy your undermining while i ORD LO! =]

Have fun being the boss, because u can't be free of your bonds (not yet anyway) :D

Sidetracking a little, but I've always wondered about the days if the management didn't have the people to rely on. Tried it, but too bad i never gotten myself into that kinda position.

Too bad Person C didn't want to do it as well, I guess I thought wrongly =/

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Anywayy, I've been thinking about FT studies VS PT studies...my mind and heart is telling me to go for PT studies cause I'll probably be able to cope regardless. But some unknown feeling inside (tsk, devil's advocate) is telling me not to do it. Sigh, I need to decide in 2 week's time... =(

Meanwhile, im just gonna chillax and enjoy ORD-ING wahaha~

Negativity

Had a colleague who blogged about negativity recently, and he mentioned that it became widespread (like a plague).

If you ask me, there isn't fire without smoke.

To have gossip-mongers/pessimistic people around, there must have been problems that surfaced and were not tackled properly.

He shouldn't be complaining about the consequences. Instead, he should be solving them(some at least)(like he should have, as appointed).

Ridiculous point of view, but entertaining nevertheless  ;)

Anywayyy, I dont care. I have 84 days to go. HOHO ^^

PS: Happy new year to all the peeps out there!

Signing Off,
-Soon-to-ORD Khai

To trust my brain or my heart.

Have been contemplating this particular picky issue for awhile now.

Some stuff had happened over the past few months and it led to much unpleasant-ness.

Have been asking myself the same question every night when I go to sleep....

Should I continue to try to value-add to the cause?

or should I not try and be an ass?

My brain is telling me to prove a point by being an ass, and its logically correct.
My heart is telling me otherwise, telling me that being an ass is not being true to myself and not sticking to my principles...

ARGH. BRAIN/HEART CAN YOU GUYS STOP FIGHTING?!

I've yet to decide. but i think my heart's gonna win =/

and somehow i'm not happy about that (note the irony: brain controls happiness)

Regardless, i need to sleep now so...

will come back in afew weeks time to "update results", so as to speak(type). lol.


Signing Off,
-Contemplative Khai

Dearest JK who ORD-ed day.

Today was a day of super mixed feelings. a day of significance, a day of turnover.

Today was JK's ORD.

Hard to describe my feelings in mere words, overwhelming would be an understatement.

Anyhow, have to thank JK for his guidance in CBT section all these while, from the 1st day I came in, acting as my upper for half a month while CPT WJP decided my future appointment.

Following which he had been guiding me both in E-HR and moral(e) issues at work!

Many a time when i was feeling angsty at work he would listen to my ramblings and throw in his 2cents, hich often make me feel alot better~

Nearing his disruption I was so sad he was leaving as he was the last of the NSF batches that I was really really close with.

Now he ORDs and I'm feeling it again. SIGH~


And as if work wasn't hard enough nowadays.

Shall not elaborate, im sure most close friends who read this blog(if any still do) knows about it roughly anyway.


Was only disappointed about 1 thing, why you no tell us?! Pink IC = no influence already what!

Of course, I'd understand if you made a promise and you wouldn't want to break it.

Thank you for trying anyway (somewhat), its much appreciated :')

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Looking back at year 10/11, I've realised I've wasted my time in trying so hard at something and neglecting everything else that really mattered. I neglected myself!

And now when that thing is falling apart, it truly made me feel like an idiot for trying. Should have focused on personal development in those 2 years instead.

No matter,  I shall utilise my next 95 days for myself. Only for myself.
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I had a sudden thought that my understudy won't be coming on 17 Jan 12 just because he's not happy with me(us?).

If its true I swear I'll play c*****n and **. Pride will get us nowhere, but it will be you that suffers in the long run, as I have none.

Hoho, and I'm still deciding whether to shift delete project or not.

Time will tell, especially in the next 2 weeks at work..

95 days left, FIGHT ON!  >=O

Signing Off,
-Soon-to-ORD-Khai