Bosses

Sometimes people get so frustrated over their bosses at work..so kaypo me went to find an article on how NOT to be an annoying boss.. here goes.

The Vague One

Ravi Kathuria, president of the Houston consulting firm Cohegic Corp, says that he once worked for a cagey character who never made his desires clear. "He would say that he likes to keep things ambiguous for his management team," say Kathuria. "His belief was, that way, they would develop better solutions." In real life, however, the strategy was a failure: "It created confusion in the management ranks. His team never knew where they stood with him."

To focus a flighty leader, you'll need to pin him down and get details. "If he says, 'I just want us to be successful,' ask, 'What would success look like?'" suggests Scott. Ask for as many specifics as possible: how many units you'd need to sell or what profit target you should hit, for instance, or if the deadline you're working on will meet his goals.

Don't be shy about touching base early and often. If your boss is sending you off on a fishing expedition, at least know what you're supposed to catch.

The Micromanager

It can be infuriating to have someone watching your every move. For your own sanity, never forget what motivates micromanagers: "They're concerned about their own reputation and really care about the final product," says Scott.

The best way to manage micromanagers is to get out from under them occasionally: Navigate your way onto cross-functional teams, for instance, so you're dealing with other leaders. Since that's not always possible, Scott also suggests offering your expertise in an area in which your boss is weak, because he won't feel like he knows more than you and, if you're lucky, he'll come to see your expertise as a benefit to him. "Realize you won't get him to stop being a micromanager, but try to redirect his attention," says Scott.

Still getting the feeling there are eyes on you at all times? Ask if he's willing to agree on specific check-in points for a particular project when you will talk about any issues or concerns. This should make him feel more secure that nothing will slip through the cracks -- and allow you to slip out of his vise-like management grip.

The Bully

A bullying boss won't steal your lunch, but may steal any vestige of joy you get out of your job -- which, in turn, will make it hard for you to perform well enough to get a better offer. One PR specialist from Salt Lake City -- we'll call her Gina -- says a former boss made feedback personal.

"She treated everyone around her like they were stupid or incompetent. She was extremely negative, rolling her eyes and saying things like 'Oh my God, what a boring idea,'" Gina recalls. "The assistant account person was scared to death of her, frequently avoiding asking any questions because she would just insult her. It made for a terrible work environment."

The first step to beating a bully is doing good work that you can stand behind, and then standing your ground. "The bullying boss is very focused on results and wants things done now," says behavioral analyst Gayle Abbott, CEO of Strategic Alignment Partners in Virginia, who has worked with companies ranging from law firms to Lockheed Martin. "Identify what they want, what they value, and take action. These [types of] people also want you to come to them confident and tell them the truth -- even if they don't like it. Don't give made-up answers or platitudes."

One way to handle them: Whenever you're at a turning point, delegate up by giving them a few options; then let them make the choice. "This works because bullies like to make their own decisions. They don't want to be dictated to," says Abbott.

Of course, if you're being personally pummeled, you can always ask if you've done something wrong. A level-headed yet over-stressed boss may not realize how he sounds. And finally, if your manager is just a jerk with a capital J, you may need to start polishing up your resume. Life's too short.

The Narcissist

With some managers, it's all about me, me, me. "They design the processes around themselves. They network for themselves. They change the rules because they want to," says Gonzague Dufour, director of executive recruitment and development at Bacardi-Martini and author of "Managing Your Manager: How to Get Ahead with Any Type of Boss." While working for a narcissist can be frustrating, they're actually incredibly easy to figure out and please, says Dufour: "If you're smart, you're presenting everything from his perspective."

Tell her how your new software program will save her time; show how your new sales successes will boost her year-end numbers, or simply ask her how you can help her do her job better. And use your boss's vanity to your advantage: If you make her look good, you'll be more valuable to her -- and she'll be more inclined to help you perform.

The BFF

Being buddy-buddy with your boss isn't necessarily a bad thing: The more your manager likes being around you, the more likely he is to keep you on his team as he moves up the corporate ladder. But beware when the friendly small talk turns to personal gossip. Your new best friend may be using you to spy on other members of the staff -- and if he's talking trash about your colleagues, you can bet your next paycheck he's also bad-mouthing you behind your back.

The first thing to do is figure out your manager's motivation. "Some people just want to be liked," says Abbott. But if you suspect spying or even back-stabbing, beware.

"If you gossip, [your manager] can use that against you, because [he or she] won't trust you," says Abbott. Whenever the conversation turns to, say, who's flirting with the intern or having problems with their kids, change the topic to something more benign, like last night's episode of "Mad Men," and leave the drama on-screen.

So peeps, please remember to minimize the above mentioned traits! =]

*Reminds self to minimize gossiping LOL >.<*

How to be a better man (Guide + self reflection)

As title suggests...

I've been thinking about something that's been bothering me for awhile.

Decided to come up with some steps for myself on how to be a better man. (And also for whoever that still bothers to read this blog)

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1. Decide what traits a 'good' person has. One can do this by observing people that he/she loves or respects. Realizing their best qualities and admirable traits and implementing them upon one's personality.

2. Don't force others into things you do. This involves religion, work, beliefs, culture, etc. Most people are happy with who they are, and won't necessarily respond positively to shoving.

3. Think before you speak. A good listener often is a "good" person. Subsequently, trust from others will follow. When you have the power of someones trust, do not take it for granted. Use this trust, to help people better themselves.

4. Empathize with others' plights or circumstances. Listening to your heart and following it instead of being judgmental contributes to your being a better person. Being honest in your dealings with others also promotes positive relationships. Problems arise when the truth is not spoken or twisted to suit one's motives. Choose your words carefully and precisely. Express yourself kindly.

5. Choose to grow. Rather than staying put where you are, choose to be a better person day by day.


I promise to reflect on what others say about me and try my very best to change for the better. Please let me know where i fall short... =/


Signing Off,
-Khai

-RANT POST-

Was in a good mood considering i managed to meet-up with quite afew of my friends today.


but i ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN I COME BACK HOME AND THINGS ARE SCREWED UP.

many a time people do things while im not around, normally out of kindness.

BUT LITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT THEY WOULD SCREW UP SOMETHING SOMEWAY OR ANOTHER.

my monitor stand is spoilt now because of technical reasons that someone in my house did not know of while "tidying up" my room.

i acknowledge and is grateful for the fact that they help me tidy my room and stuff whilst im outside.

but PLEASE CHECK WITH ME BEFORE DOING ANYTHING BEFORE YOU CAN JUST SCREW SOMETHING UP.


ARGH IM FRUSTRATED AND ANGSTY NOW AND I PROBABLY CANT GET TO SLEEP AND IT'LL AFFECT MY WORK TOMORROW ALL BECAUSE SOMEONE SPOILT MY MONITOR STAND...

crap. im getting so petty and out-of-control-emotional.

i guess i hate coming home and see-ing things degrade and not being the way they're supposed to be.

sigh...now i have to fix my monitor instead of chillax-ing before i sleep....

>.>


anyway... moral of the story learnt : always check with others/owner before doing something to their belongings if you're not sure how its done.

Friendship

I've been missing out on some stuff lately.

Took me awhile to realise that friendship is like a relationship. In fact, its a FORM of relationship.

All relationships need effort to maintain and foster well.

I guess i've not been doing my part =/

Will bear in mind that in the future!


Signing Off,
-Khai

Tired.

What can I say?

It's so tiring to put on a facade and pretend all's fine and dandy when its not.

Sigh, how much longer can I keep this up?

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Some people tell me that putting on facades is to be insecure.

I may not agree, but it is sure as hell tiring to do it all the time.

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I guess I just need some time to reassert myself and to start living life for myself and not others.

But on the other hand, 我不入地獄,誰入地獄.

Cliche sounding, but so damn true =/



Signing Off,
-Khai

掉了 - Rendition

1st Rendition ever posted. Yes it sucks. no editing with softwares, extremely raw attempt... just my handphone and backing music...

Song rightly recites my feelings right now... =/


http://www.jukeboxalive.com/audio_play_offsite.php?mid=3087171

Life as a NSF

-NS-
I'm extremely glad that I'm in where I am now, regardless of the occasional disappointments.

-Friends and Family-
Pretty okay, nothing major but contented nevertheless.

-Future-
Unknownn >.> have not decided what really to do in teh future...

-Overall-
Not bad, could be better, glad that its not worse.


Hmm, its almost midnight and I know I've a long day tomorrow so shall keep this 1st post on this "new" blog short.

To be updated regularly in the future! *note to myself*


Take care people, and keep in contact.


Signing Off,
-Khai